Contributed by Dina B.
As women, we are often viewed as people that sex ‘happens to’ or is ‘done to.’ In fact, we are healthy individuals with our own sexual desires. Even so, there are lots of ideas that we have about ourselves and our partners that can lead to lackluster sex lives. Here are the top mistakes women make in bed and some ingredients to help turn that around.
Not initiating sex. Your partner may have a stronger sex drive than you or maybe you feel slutty if you initiate sex. But think about it, how would you feel if your partner never initiated sex. Would you feel rejected? Unattractive? Initiating sex shows your partner you’re interested and find him attractive. Also, the show of power can be sexy.
Being unresponsive. Being quiet leaves your partner in a world of mystery. Does she like this? Should I keep going? Making noises is perfectly natural. You can also express yourself verbally by talking about what you enjoy before the sexual encounter. Describing how you like to be touched and where can be a part of foreplay.
Ignoring each others’ erogenous zones. Men like foreplay too. Going straight for the penis may get your point across, but men also like to have their necks, nipples, backs, etc. kissed as well. A slow build to pleasure makes everyone happy.
Thinking your partner is responsible for your orgasms. You are responsible for your own pleasure. Communicate about what you like, let go of your thoughts about your to do list, focus on being in the moment. An orgasm doesn’t have to be the goal. Let go and enjoy.
Keeping to the same routine. Yes, we all have our favorite positions. But there is more than the missionary, girl on top and doggie style. Try other positions, locations in the house and times of day/night. Keeping things fresh, keeps things exciting.
What do you do to keep things exciting for you and your partner? We invite you to share your ideas in the comment box below.