Contributed by Tanya S.

Communication may not be the sexiest topic, but when you are talking about sex it is very sexy.   Being able to communicate freely with your partner allows you to feel closer and increase sexual satisfaction.  But the way you talk about sex and when also makes a difference.

Talking right after sex is a great time to talk about what you liked and ask questions about what your partner enjoyed.  Be specific.  Did your partner do something with their tongue or hands that you enjoyed?  Did you do something new and want to know their reaction?  Was there a position you liked?  Is there something you want to try next time?  Right after sex is not a good time to be critical.  You want to focus on the good things so they can be repeated.

Another good time to talk about sex is right before sex.  You can use talking about your past experiences together as part of foreplay.  Describe what you liked last time to keep it fresh in your partners mind.  You can go over different things you want to try and ask what they are interested in.

It is important for you to support your partner and for your partner to do the same.  If your partner suggests something you are not interested in, do not wince, make a face or say they are disgusting.  Instead, say that it doesn’t interest you.  Neither of you should put the other down for exploring sexual fantasies.  Sometimes fantasies are just fantasies and not all of them have to be explored.

If you want to get to know what your partner is interested in but are afraid they may balk, use some of the Yes, No Maybe checklists to start the conversation.