Contributed by Tanya S.


The New Year holds lots of possibilities.  New Year Resolutions are often about weight, money and work but some are more personal. Sometimes we make the private resolution to fall in love; but before you fall in love, here are some things to consider so you can have a healthy relationship.

Accept your role in past breakups.  Why didn’t your last relationship last?  Take a detached viewpoint and analyze it.  If you don’t figure out why it failed, your next relationship is likely to fail in the same way.  You may say it was your partner’s fault, but you were right there with them so chances are you played a role in the break-up.  This step is often the hardest for some people accept.  I have worked with people who can never admit any fault. They are miserable. Do not set yourself up for the same misery.  Accept that you are human and make mistakes.  Even if your mistake is not paying attention to clues that the relationship was no good and staying in it anyway.  When you admit you played a role in any break-up, you avoid the trap of blaming your ex which makes it easier to move forward!

Let go of your exes.  So many of us dwell on our past relationships.  Maybe we stayed in a bad relationship longer than we should have out of a desire to fix things. This type of emotional investment leads to bitterness which keeps these unhappy relationships in our hearts.  In others cases we might have believed the person was ‘my soul mate’ causing us to live in regret, “If only we could have worked things out.”  Focus on why it didn’t work and let them go. The faster we accept that our relationship might not have been the best for us, we can let go!

Take a time-out.   I have many friends who jump from one relationship to another simply because they do not like being alone.  Dating out of desperation will leave you feeling desperate in the relationship as well. Take a time out and figure out ways to be alone with yourself.  Consider thishaving a healthy relationship begins with having a healthy relationship with yourself so use this time to fall in love with you!

What change(s) would you like to make when it comes to your love life? We invite you share your ideas in the comment box below?