Contributor: Donna Marie
In the United States, the Fourth of July commemorates our Declaration of Independence from Great Britain in 1776. It’s a day of parades, family gatherings, and fireworks—a celebration of autonomy and freedom.
But this holiday also makes me reflect on how my relationship with independence has evolved over the years.
When Independence Becomes a Prison
For most of my adult life, I wore independence like a badge of honor. I believed I needed to handle everything alone. Asking for help felt like admitting weakness or incompetence. Even worse, I feared people wouldn’t come through for me if I did ask. With this mindset, self-sufficiency seemed like the only viable path.
Then life challenged everything I thought I knew about independence.
The Wake-Up Call
After twenty years as a successful freelance consultant, my business began to dry up. No matter what I tried, projects stopped coming. Months passed with no improvement.
I felt like a failure. The very area where I’d always felt invincible—my career—was crumbling. Work had been my primary source of self-worth, and without it, I questioned everything about myself.
The Breakthrough
Through The Freedom Zone Inquiry, I discovered that my fierce independence was actually a façade. I was using it to mask deep feelings of insecurity, self-doubt, and inadequacy. What I thought was healthy self-sufficiency was actually self-loathing in disguise.
By practicing Presence (becoming aware of my negative self-talk and its emotional impact) and Vulnerability (dropping the protective façade), I realized that independence was a choice, not a requirement. I could ask for help without diminishing my worth.
This shift in perspective changed everything. Instead of drowning in self-blame, I focused on solutions.
Freedom through Interdependence
My new action plan included:
- Asking my entire network for referrals
- Reconnecting with past clients
- Partnering with other marketing companies and consultants
These collaborative efforts didn’t just revive my business—they expanded it into exciting new territories I never could have reached alone.
Today, I embrace living as an interdependent experience. As Taro Gold beautifully puts it:
“Everything, including all people, exists through relationships with other people or things. Nothing exists in isolation or absolute independence. No person, or thing can arise of, for, or by its own accord. Everything is interdependent.”
Your Turn
Do you avoid asking for help even when you need it? What would change if you embraced interdependence instead of fierce independence?
Share your thoughts in the comments below.