Contributed by Noreen Sumpter, Self-Esteem & Confidence Coach


Setting healthy, personal boundaries is a way of protecting and taking care of yourself. It is important to be able to tell people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable. It is also important to know that you have the right and duty to protect and defend yourself. It is your responsibility to be clear about how you want others to treat you.

To do so, you need to learn how to clearly communicate your feelings to others. Stating your feelings not only affirms your right to your feelings, it also allows you to take responsibility for yourself and your life. Owning yourself, your reality and your voice is not only self-empowering, it allows others to hear and understand you clearly.

To be clear, setting boundaries is not a more sophisticated way of manipulation. Some people might say that they are setting boundaries when in fact they are attempting to manipulate people and situations. Here is the difference between setting boundaries and manipulation:

  • Healthy boundaries give you choices and allow you the freedom to let go of the outcome.
  • Manipulation involves using confusing forms of communication to get others to do what you want them to do to achieve a specific outcome that only the manipulator is clear about.

It is unhealthy to have relationships with people who have no boundaries, who cannot communicate directly, honestly and freely. Learning how to set boundaries is important and necessary for you to be a friend to yourself and others. It is your responsibility to take care and to protect yourself. It is important to love, honor and respect yourself. You cannot truly love yourself if you do not take responsibility. Loving yourself allows you the opportunity and freedom to be a creator in your life.

How well do you set boundaries?  We invite you to comment in the box below.

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Noreen Sumpter, Self-Esteem & Confidence Coach,  works with High Achievers who feel trapped in their private life.  They lack personal confidence and self-esteem. By helping them clear mental clutter and dissolve limiting beliefs, they can take deliberate steps, own their voice, speak their truth and have the freedom to live life their way.

“Live Life Your Way”

To make an appointment with me, please call 718-834-9450 or e-mail

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