Contributed by Tanya S.


Absence makes the heart grow fonder but sometimes absence can break a relationship.  I had a long distance relationship that lasted five years.  In the end, the distance did not cause the breakup; we just weren’t well matched.  Here is what we did to help the relationship last:

Trust. You have to be able to trust your partner and they have to trust you.  When you cannot see someone on a regular basis, you are unaware of their actions. If they do not text back right away, your mind can manufacture all different types of scenarios. Remember that they could be busy at work, left their phone to be charged, etc.  So, don’t let your mind run wild.

Set the ground rules. Say it out aloud and get your expectations out on the table. Are you allowed to date other people? Should you be monogamous? Leaving it unsaid may lead to a misunderstanding.

Being in touch. You may think that communicating every day is a great idea.  But it can lead to the feeling that one partner is checking in on the other.  A daily recap of what you did that day can also turn into an obligation instead of a pleasure. Instead schedule a few chats a week to keep the connection strong but not obsessive.

Traveling. Both parties have to travel. Traveling can be tiring and disrupt someone’s life but, if one person does all the traveling, resentment will start to build. If there are circumstances that make it difficult for one partner to travel, try sharing travel expenses or help out in some other way.

Do you have any tips for keeping a long relationship going? We invite you to share your ideas in the comment box below.