Contributed by Tanya S.
One of the biggest mistakes we make in dating is not picking the right person. But, an even bigger mistake is staying with the wrong person. Ask yourself how much time you stayed in your past relationships. When did you want to leave it? I had one relationship that lasted for years that should have ended on the second date; but for some reason I gave him another chance, which turned into lots of chances.
On our second date, I had many little voices in my head. ‘He is walking ahead of you and leaving you behind in a strange city.’ “He snaps easily.’ ‘He is making small negative comments against me.’ Instead of listening to these voices, I put them aside and said I was being too judgmental. However, my gut instinct was screaming at me that things will not work out. In the end, I left eh relationship with a lower sense of self-esteem and can see now that the relationship was verbally abusive.
One of my problems was I was ‘throwing good money after bad.’ It is an expression used in economics but it can also be used for time. I had already invested so much time in the relationship to give up now seemed ridiculous. But time kept going on. This wasn’t the first time this happened to me. I stayed in all the relationships before way after I wanted to be in them. The reality of the situation was I was afraid of hurting their feelings and expressing my feelings.
I also never set up any deal-breakers. After watching Patti Stanger on The Millionaire Matchmaker, ask her clients for five deal breakers, I realized then that I never made a list of deal breakers for myself. This has made my dating life so much easier. I am not judging people or putting them down but if they have any addictions, past or present, I do not want to date them. This does not mean that I am cruel I just know what I want and what I cannot deal with.
Do you have a list of deal breakers?