Contributed by Tanya Schiavone
I am a big Wonder Woman fan. As a kid of the 70s, I remember being amazed at how powerful Wonder Woman was. No matter what came her way she handled it with grace and confidence. Her weapon was a magical lasso and anyone who touched the lasso was compelled to tell the truth.
The book, JLA: A League of One, reveals Wonder Woman’s morning ritual. Each day she places the lasso on her shoulders to reveal any lies she may be telling herself. This act is an example of her inner strength. Can you imagine what it would be like to know the lies we tell ourselves?
Wonder Woman finds out she must face a deadly challenge that would kill the rest of the JLA. The only way out is for her to lie and risk her own integrity. It is her first lie and one lie leads to another, as she lies to each teammate. Seeing how difficult it was for her to lie, I began to examine myself. Is it really hard for me to lie? I don’t think so. Throughout my life, I have become at ease doing it. I decided to examine my lies and tell the truth for one whole week. I discovered the types of lies I told fell into two categories:
To avoid hurting someone else’s feelings. This is one of the main reasons why I lied. If I didn’t like something, I would lie to spare someone’s feelings. If I didn’t want to do something I would lie and say I did. All because I was afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. But in reality, I was afraid to reveal my feelings. I decided that, if I don’t like something, there is no harm in saying I don’t like it.
My truth challenge: When faced with options for a restaurant and my friends mentioned pizza, I spoke up and said I wasn’t interested in going for pizza. I noticed nothing bad happened. Instead, everyone started brainstorming other ideas. In fact, one other person admitted they didn’t want pizza either. Now when I feel something I just say it. This has increased my feelings of self-worth and improved my life immensely.
To get out of trouble. Causing conflict that might lead to angry reactions is one of my greatest fears. I do not want anyone to yell at me or be angry so I typically lie to get out of it.
My truth challenge: I had agreed to got to a party but when the time arrived, I didn’t feel up to going and I bowed out. I thought a friend of mine would be angry at me. I almost said I had to do work but instead I admitted that I didn’t feel upbeat enough to go to a party. When I admitted my fears, my friend said they would never get upset at me for such a thing and I should never worry about it. Telling the truth brought me a sense of relief and deepened my relationship with my friend.
Not lying was easier than I thought it would be and got easier with each truth I told. I felt more authentic, more at ease and more relaxed. Knowing I can tell the truth and come out okay makes me want to tell the truth. Each time I lie, it hurts me. It also hurts the people I am lying to, but most of all, lying compromises my integrity and, the pain of that is too great for me to lie.
How could you prevent yourself from lying? We invite you to write your ideas in the box below.
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