Contributed by Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach
I think they will not like me and think I am weird, so I keep to myself or I pretend to like things I am not interested in. I do not know how to be myself. What can I do? – Roberta B..
A: Be Yourself Already.
Many women are stuck in their old ways of being. They have limiting beliefs that are so far out of alignment with who they are today, that their concepts of themselves are out of balance. They know that something in their lives is missing. It is not a tangible thing. It is a way of being, doing and having. They know that their head and heart are out of sync. They continue to harp on, talk about and create the same things all of the time. They date the same men, or none at all. They attract the same things or none at all. They know intuitively that there is something that they desire but they cannot find the right magnetic energy. They do not understand that their words have power and through their words they are recreating the same situations. In response to this, I created a salon – Be Yourself Already.
Are you being yourself or are you stuck? The questions I ask you are:
Who are you being? Are you being yourself or are you being something that is completely out of alignment with your true God and Universal spirit? Do you know that the more you become aware of who you are, you will become aware of your inner guidance and personal power?
Are you using material things to insulate you from really being yourself? Have you insulated yourself so much with things that the even the sheer thought of losing these things hurt so much that it shuts you down?
Do you really know yourself? Have you ever taken time to be with you in silence? Without the hum of the television, without drugs and alcohol, comfort food, you’re shopping jones, the constant chatter on the phone and having multiple mindless relationships or booty calls? Do you know yourself without whatever vice you are using to cover up whatever it is you’re avoiding?
My big request is:
Be Yourself Already! If you were to strip yourself naked, down to the core of who you are, would you know yourself, would you like yourself? Furthermore, would you be comfortable? Let’s go a little further- you lost your job, your house, your car, everything, all you had was just you. Would you be comfortable with yourself, would you be yourself already?
Close your eyes for one minute and imagine if all you had was yourself and your imagination, how would you begin the process of recreation? Do you think it is important to be yourself openly, and honestly? Being who you are and not who you think you should be?
Are you speaking from a place of lacking or a place of abundance:
When you speak with your friends and people you know, do you continually speak about your problems and pain or do you speak about your abundant life and how happy you are? Well when you speak of your pain and problems, people begin to form images as you speak and you transmit radio waves of emotions to them. So if you’re a person that is continually sharing from the place of pain, then pain and problems will be how you show up in the world. If you are a person that says they don’t trust or like people, or believes that continual happiness isn’t possible, then the life you have is the life you’ve created with the words that you’ve uttered.
My story of lacking vs. abundance
A few years ago after I finished my coaching certification at NYU I created a seminar with two women who were in my class. I was very excited about the seminar and was sort of at a cross roads in my life. I was giving up real estate which had been a large source of my income and identity for a number of years. As a Realtor, I was used making great money. The following nibble will clarify my lack. My career as a real estate broker had a profound impact on me. I was well known in the community, I was good at what I did, and I made money. Real Estate had become my identity.
Becoming a Personal Life Coach and stepping out into an unknown field to do something that I was emotionally and spiritually drawn to was daunting. I became anxious as I did not know my capabilities yet in my new field. I was unsure if I could make a difference, attract clients, find my niche and lastly make an income. So my conversations became one of lack.
At that time, all I could see was my bank account being sapped and me becoming poor which was one of my fears. (No longer) This was not my truth. I had been expressing myself to the two ladies who I was to partner with to produce the seminar. I had been expressing myself from a place of lack yet I did not know it.
Then, an issue arose that gave me clarity and transformed my life. We had to pay for the rental space. One of the ladies, Jane, paid my share and I had to pay her back. Paying her back was no problem at all. However, my continuous conversation about lack had created a world for them where I would be unable to pay them back. The night of the seminar, I had the money for Jane in my pocket. But, we were so busy with everything that I got distracted and neglected to give her the money. The money stayed in my pocket until I got home.
In the morning I was speaking with the other woman, Geraldine. I told Geraldine that I had Jane’s money. Geraldine proceeded to tell me that both she and Jane were concerned that Jane would not get her money back. My heart sunk. I have a commitment to always pay back my debts. Furthermore, the money I owed wasn’t even a large sum. It was barely enough for me to have a great lunch and definitely was not enough to feed me for a week. Regardless of the fact, in that moment Jane and Geraldine taught me a valuable lesson. I learned that I had created a world for my partners, Jane and Geraldine, out of my conversation about lack. Before that experience, I had no idea that I was speaking of lack and that I was creating a world for them where they saw me as poor. In the moment from that conversation, I became extremely responsible for my speaking and learned to speak responsibly from a place of power.
With Jane and Geraldine, what I had been doing was planting and replanting seeds of lack. I experience the power of my words. I have a commitment to using my words and creating myself from a place of my own personal power. I might at times slip up, like a child who sometimes does not have the skill to handle everything in my life perfectly or even beautifully. But, what I do know is that I am being myself already! I have the power to know that I am growing every moment and that I do not have to go back to creating images that speak of or create images of disempowerment to others.
Do you have a question for Nourishing Nibbles, please send it to:
Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach: works with High Achievers who feel trapped in their private life. They lack personal confidence and self-esteem. By helping them clear mental clutter and dissolve limiting beliefs, they can take deliberate steps, own their voice, speak their truth and have the freedom to live life their way. “Live Life Your Way”
“Live Life Your Way” www.noreensumptercoach.com
To make an appointment with me, please call 718-834-9450 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org