Contributed by Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach
Start by loving yourself!
We cannot do life alone, I have heard many women and some men especially in my community say they do not need friends or they do not need relationships. I find this comment very sad. I believe that we cannot go through life alone. I think that we are here as a collective, to support each other’s mental, emotional, and physical growth. We are in relationships that feed and allow our own personal development to blossom. Relationships challenge you to keep your heart in an open space, expressing loving feelings toward others.
We are often terrified of admitting that we may be wrong, in pain or hurt. When we are unsettled or off balance, we put on a front because we do not want to face ourselves. We get angry and try to hurt the people we love the most with negative words or by shutting down. Or in my case, I talk about it in a very detached way. I try to place myself as far away from the feeling as possible as if talking about it from a teleprompter and then dying on the inside. I report, giving it the dramatics, etc. and while adding some comedy, I’m still dying on the inside.
However, today I know when I am in this position, it is difficult to communicate with the person I am talking to from a state of love. This way of being that I have does not allow me to be my true self. It kills off my moments that do not allow me to be spontaneous with them. What used to be a fun relationship will now seem heavy and dull. I experience an internal conversation that always says to me, “clean it up.” What’s happening to me at this time is my love channel is closing down. It feels like my heart is caving in on itself. Then I know there is only one thing for me to do: I need to clear, clean it up and take responsibility; then I can talk and share or end the experience.
Now that being said, you can share your feelings. But the person with whom you are sharing, may not feel the same way you do. They may shut down and kill off the relationship. You will and can find this sad and even upsetting. Give that person their space and accept where they are. You may never be in a relationship with them again or you could come away as better friends. It depends on each person’s state of evolutionary development. Life is recorded as a season, reason or a lifetime and maybe you have come to the end of the recording with that person; like a season, it has come to an end. One can still love them from a distance, send them good energy and move on.
Do you have a question for Nourishing Nibbles, please send it to:
Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach works with High Achievers who feel trapped in their private life. They lack personal confidence and self-esteem. By helping them clear mental clutter and dissolve limiting beliefs, they can take deliberate steps, own their voice, speak their truth and have the freedom to live life their way. “Live Life Your Way”
“Live Life Your Way” www.noreensumptercoach.com
To make an appointment with me, please call 718-834-9450 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org