Contributed by Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach
For the past couple of weeks, we have been talking about downward dating – dating someone who is not at the same emotional or financial level as you. Here are some tips on how to avoid downward dating:
If you’re serious about having a relationship stay away at all costs. Remember downward dating, unlike Downward Facing Dog which tones and strengthens, is not empowering. It might give you great sex for 60 seconds and come in a fabulous package because of the eye/arm candy appeal. Date people that have the same or similar kinds of interests.
Value yourself so that people will value you and if they don’t, you can walk away intact.
Give yourself permission to do what you desire.
Date people that have interests that interest or might interest you.
Take time to get to know people you date, but first take time to know yourself.
Date people that have similar values by finding out and asking those questions that freak you out.
Date people who value you making plans and can be honest about what they can and cannot do.
Date people that are flexible, will try new things and speak up about them.
Date people who can create and have clear agreement with you.
Date people who will remember your successes in the relationship not your failures.
Breakdowns are opening for breakthroughs. Life without breakdowns is no life at all.
Date people and do your best and realize that dating is a process which can have you realize your humanness.
Date by expecting the best to happen and know that you will experiences triggers from your past.
Date with an open heart or else don’t date. In fact do your life with an open heart.
Improve the quality of yourself by being open to being fearless and free.
Ask yourself serious heartfelt questions, the ones that make you feel uncomfortable.
Have a look at your attitude and level of gratitude.
Do an inventory. What do you like or dislike about your dating habits? Take a look. Don’t judge, just investigate.
Get rid of your physical typing; the physical typing was created in your past by a very young you.
Stay in the present moment leave you past relationships in the past. Live in the now date in the now.
Everyone, as we all know, is different and not everyone is compatible. So, it is important to realize if you cannot accept a person for all they are and all they are not, then you need to leave them alone. Maybe your date has not read a book in a number of years. Maybe they only eat what they were raised on and everything else is off limits. Or you’re a traveler and they’re a couch traveler. Your priorities are so completely different. You find yourself trying to plan things with them and they seem really keen, but when it comes time to commit to the plans, they disappear off the planet and your left wondering is this the same person.
We invite you to share your thoughts about Downward Dating in the comment box below and send your questions for Nourishing Nibbles to: inspiration@foodforthesoul.us.
Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach: works with High Achievers who feel trapped in their private life. They lack personal confidence and self-esteem. By helping them clear mental clutter and dissolve limiting beliefs, they can take deliberate steps, own their voice, speak their truth and have the freedom to live life their way. “Live Life Your Way”
“Live Life Your Way” www.noreensumptercoach.com
To make an appointment with me, please call 718-834-9450 or e-mail noreen@noreensumptercoach.com
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