Contributed by Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach

Q:  “I feel like I have no social life anymore.  What can I do?” –  Duey R.

A:  Make time for friends!


Friends are people you connect with.  They are people who make you feel comfortable enough to fully share yourself.  You become involved with these friends because you’re attracted to their qualities, energy and personality.  You choose to remain friends with them because you enjoy their company and have a mutually honest and respectful relationship. You trust your friends with your secrets, ideas, thoughts and feelings.  You feel secure with these people you call friends.

Powerful friendships allow you to give and receive.  They allow you a place to express and share your common interests and find new ones together.  Good friendships allow you to develop yourself, obtain new skills and learn to relate.  The power of these kinds of friendships is that they help to meet your needs for acceptance and let you know you belong.

The company of good friends is a beautiful thing.  However, cultivating and maintaining friendships like these can be very difficult for some people.  If you remember back when you were young, making friends was easy.  You were exposed to people your own age who had similar interests and life circumstances – who were available to form friendships and whose only responsibilities were generally homework, hobbies and a few chores.  The supply of friendship and time was abundant and not much mattered.  You had plenty of time to have your friendships develop and blossom naturally.

As we grew and left school, adulthood arrived with its many responsibilities including  paying bills, developing careers and looking for mating prospects. Friends started to go in various directions.  Creating and developing new friendships might not appear as abundant as they once were.  When you meet new people you’re compatible with, you have to schedule time to develop the relationship.  While the common complaint is not having enough time, the fact is we are all apportioned the same amount of time – 24 hours per day.  But, what do you do with your time?  Do you use it or do you waste it?  Are you so booked and scheduled that you can’t muster the energy to extend an invitation?

Like anything you want in life, you have to commit. I have clients who are constantly telling me that they don’t have any friends and they have a hard time making new friends. However, after working with me, you discover that as you begin to align with your priorities, your opportunities for friendship increase.  You will discover that you are the one who has to decide who you’re going to be friends with.

Trust is another issue that many people without friends are often concerned about.  However, I have discovered that the lack of trust is internal.  By developing self-trust is developed, you start to give trust differently.  If it is friends and relationship that you want to develop, then you have to start taking risks and being approachable.

Here are some questions that I ask my clients:

  1. What do you want in a friendship?  On a scale of one to ten, how satisfied are you without friendships?
  2. What do you believe that having friends would add to your life?
  3. What actions do you take that allow you to meet and make new friends?
  4. What do you do that keep friends away?
  5. What do you do that pollutes your friendship?
  6. If you were to transform and deepen your friendships what would that be like?

 Do you have a question for Nourishing Nibbles, please send it to:

Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach: works with High Achievers who feel trapped in their private life.  They lack personal confidence and self-esteem. By helping them clear mental clutter and dissolve limiting beliefs, they can take deliberate steps, own their voice, speak their truth and have the freedom to live life their way.  “Live Life Your Way” 

   “Live Life Your Way”

To make an appointment with me, please call 718-834-9450 or e-mail

Subscribe to my weekly Newsletter, join me on Facebook and Twitter