Contributed by Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach
Fear is an emotional response to an impending threat or danger. It is one of our most basic responses. Most of the fears that we experience such as fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success and so on are, for the most part, imagined; in other words, they are attached to our belief systems.
I used to have a fear of going to the movies by myself. While I longed to go to the movies, I refused to go alone. I had a fear of being molested by a man wearing a beige raincoat that was cinched at the waist. This was something that I had heard as a child and added to my belief system. How ridiculous! However, as I grew older I realized that I had this fear of going alone, but I could not remember why. It wasn’t until I accepted that I was afraid that I was able to see what my fear was, where it came from, and how it came to be. My older brother used to take us to the movies when I was younger and in order to keep us in line he would tell us about the old man in the beige coat that would take us away and do awful things to us. What I realized was that I had internalized a lot of that story and it followed me for years. I was 30 years old when I finally went to the movies by myself. Yep, 30 years old! Some people might say that’s crazy! However, in my mind, I was still young and very afraid. Consequently, that was what my limiting belief looked like. It was an old condition that kept me from going to the movies by myself, even if I wanted to.
Limiting beliefs interfere with many aspects of our lives. There are all kinds of limiting beliefs that stop us from succeeding. Fear of failure is a huge limiting belief. I recently had the opportunity to meet a woman who was raised in a middle class family, but because of her experience attending a school with children who were not middle class, she developed the limiting belief of not deserving. Since her friends did not have, she stopped asking her parents for the things she wanted (like toys and gadgets) and even refused to wear her “better” clothes to school or when she was with her peers as she did not want to feel like she was showing off since they didn’t have nice clothes.
Fast forward into adulthood. Her not deserving limiting belief manifested into not having made enough money to live on. She always squeaked by with just enough money for her basic needs, but never enough for extras. As a result of her limiting belief, she never developed the confidence to ask for the salary that she deserved and conditioned herself not to have any idea about how much money she wanted to make. So, she lives in a world of not enough and not deserving.
Limiting beliefs can show up in lots of different ways; and, the limiting belief that you developed as a child grows up with you into an adult-sized limiting belief system. In order to succeed and clear your limiting beliefs, you have to focus your mind on positive thoughts. You have to start creating the reality you want. You cannot for one moment allow old limiting beliefs to enter your mind and re-root themselves. It takes effort, courage and knowing in your gut that limiting beliefs can be overcome.
Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach works with High Achievers who feel trapped in their private life. They lack personal confidence and self-esteem. By helping them clear mental clutter and dissolve limiting beliefs, they can take deliberate steps, own their voice, speak their truth and have the freedom to live life their way. “Live Life Your Way”
“Live Life Your Way” www.noreensumptercoach.com
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