Contributed by Bianca, Authentic Living Guide
We have a tendency to focus on what we don’t have, what we haven’t yet achieved and what’s not working in our lives. I believe this is at least partly learned; financial and material growth, we are taught, is the important barometer to judge effectiveness, success and personal value. But perhaps it is partly biological; a built-in system designed to keep us alert, on guard, safe and therefore out of harm’s way.
This focus on what we don’t have and what’s not working doesn’t keep us safe in today’s world; the effect is just the opposite. It keeps us feeling emotionally unsafe. It holds us back from feeling valuable as individuals. It blocks us from experiencing our own brilliance, uniqueness and being fully in our own lives. It contributes to the overwhelming feeling of worthlessness that lurks in the darkness but is widespread in our culture.
When we focus on our accomplishments we begin to see how much we have, how much we contribute and how much there is to love in life right now. We see we add value to the world. That brings with it a feeling of contentment, satisfaction and joy. In essence we get the emotional safety we need to feel confident and reach to high levels of personally meaningful achievement.
So an easy way to feel better instantly is to focus on what’s working. What did you achieve today, this week or this month? Some are big like graduating high school or college. Some aren’t so big; “I got out of bed, brushed my teeth and went to work today.”
As you can see from the examples, finding what is working isn’t hard. It’s just we are always looking for the “what’s next.” Setting goals and looking to achieve in life is valuable, but sometimes it is the very thing in the way of feeling satisfied, content and fulfilled.