Contributed by Dani k.


Every time I look at the magazine rack I feel out of place. Cosmo is giving me ten great sex tips. Maxim is talking about pleasing your woman. Being sexy is important because you will attract sexual partners.  When I look at the magazines, I feel confused, disinterested. Why? Because I feel very lackluster about having sex with anyone, ever!

For a long time I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. I’m supposed to be interested in having sex. Why aren’t I? Everyone else is. Maybe I have a mental illness or maybe there is something medically wrong with me. I went to therapists who tried to work with me on why I didn’t feel sexual. They delved into my childhood to find the answer. Had I been abused? No. Did my parents tell me sex was wrong?  No.

I gave up feeling something must be wrong with me and there was no way I could be fixed. But, I still wanted a relationship; I just wasn’t interested in the pesky sex part. I decided I really had to figure it out this time so I went to a new therapist and poured my heart out. My therapist’s response: Maybe you’re just asexual.

I had never heard the term ‘asexual’ before. I thought for sure I was the only one until I learned that apparently 1% of our population is asexual. I was shocked. I thought for sure I was the only one. But I guess in a world of billions of people, I could never be the only one! My therapist discussed asexuality with me and I started to accept that there is nothing wrong with me.

Asexual people have the same emotional needs as everyone else and can have intimate relationships. They are just not interested in having sexual relationships. If you feel you may be asexual or if you want to learn more about asexuality, visit the Aven website:

Have you ever thought you might be asexual? We invite you to comment in the box below.