Contributed by Trisha N.


I would like to spend more time with ________ but I do not have enough time. As soon as things slow down, I will give _______ a call.  Sound familiar?  We all hear that relationships take work, but who wants to work? Having strong relationships involves intimacy and may take some effort on your part to get things going but it’s all worth it.

Set up time for your relationship.  Start with something small like 10 minutes a day for those who live with you or 20 minutes a week for outside friends. After all, anyone can find 10 minutes out of even the busiest of days!

Set up a nice place.  Sit on a couch or the floor or go to the park.  Even if it’s a telephone call set yourself up some place where you won’t be distracted and, if it’s a meet-up, make sure you will both be comfortable.

Ask quality questions.  Do not focus on what bad things happened in your day and turn it into a gripe session. Talking through problems is okay but start the conversations with what you are grateful for, what you have learned or any good thing that has happened to you that day.  This will help set things up so even if the conversation heads into problems the tone will be decidedly different.

Don’t interrupt.  Be committed to listening to each other. Let them get the full story out and concentrate on what they are saying not what you will say in return.

Thank the other person.  Thank them for sharing and spending time with you. Give them a hug and let them know you love them.

How do you create intimacy in your relationships?  We invite you to share your ideas in the comment box below.