Contributed by Darius G.

While most people might not be able to fully define a healthy relationship, there can be no disagreement that trust, intimacy, honesty, love and caring are desirable qualities. Now the question is, how can you find and experience a healthy and fulfilling relationship?  Here are a few tips to consider as you go about creating the relationship of your dreams.

Be aware of who you are attracted to you.  Did you ever notice that you date people who remind you of someone else?  Recently I noticed that I tend to date the same kind of person. We go out for a while and then, for one reason or another, I end the relationship. As that pattern has continued for a while now, I decided to put a hold on dating for the moment and take a closer look. I took stock of the people I have dated in the past to see what attributes they shared that did not work for me. Then I put together a profile of the qualities I am looking for in the person I wish to share my life with.

Be aware of yours and your potential partner’s views about relationship. What do you really think about relationships? What are your fears or concerns? Do you think that all people cheat? If so, there will be not trust in the relationship. Do they think that arguments are the norm in relationships? If so, fights and disagreements are likely to be a common occurrence. Begin to realize that whatever views you have about relationships will become the context for your experiences and are likely to play out in your relationship.

Sex and Love.  Were you ever really into someone and then it fizzled out?  It could be because you were really mistaking sex for love or you were lonely and got into the relationship because you wanted to connect more than anything. Having a fabulous sex life is wonderful; just be sure that there are other levels of interest that you share in addition to having ‘hot’ sex. Over time, ‘hot’ sex without substance can get old.

Get in touch with what you really want and share it.  What do you want?  We are all guilty of expecting other people to know what we want instinctively without us saying anything.  After all, if they love you they would know what you want. Well, the fact is, no one is a mind reader.  You are laying the blame on them instead of owning up to your inability to express what you want.  When you can share what you wish, you will be taking responsibility for having the kind of relationship that is empowering and healthy.

What do you think a healthy relationship is?  We invite you to comment in the box below.