Contributed by Tanya S.



“Hey, you want to have sex?” is not exactly romantic, nor is it something you can say in front of your in-laws.  While people enjoy sex, it is not always something they feel comfortable asking for, even with a long-term partner.  But there are some creative and less intimidating ways to invite your partner to a sexual interlude.

Bring back memories. Think of a time in your past when you had a great time with your partner. Maybe it was that time on vacation or one day in the car on make-out lane? Whatever experience conjures up ‘hot’ memories, bring it up! Talking about a pleasurable past sexual encounter will put you both in the mood and before long …

Physical touch.  What does your partner like? What puts them in the mood?  A nibble on the ear? Rubbing their thigh?  Snuggling up close and playing with their hair?  Any sort of slow moving physical touch can help get the juices flowing, put your partner in the mood and heighten your desire.

Write it out. Sexting is one way, but can feel kind of silly to some.  So, how about a little old- fashioned note?  Write out your sexual fantasy or some erotica that stars you and your partner.  You can leave it on the dinner plate or slip it into their pocket or read it to them imaginatively.

Establish a secret code. Take an ordinary statement such as, “Honey, can you help me write up the grocery list later?” or “Sweetie, remember we have to make a stop before we get home!” as code for “Baby, let’s get it on!” With the code, you can say it in the middle of dinner with the kids or when the in-laws are over or when you are with company at a dinner party or business event. Then both of you can go through the evening in anticipation of a happy ending!

Just say it. Being direct might not be natural for you, but give it a try. Make a loving, passionate demand for your partner to get into bed and chances are you won’t get much of a protest.