Contributed by Salvatrese M.

Let's talk about sex

How many times have you heard this one: only some women can experience multiple orgasms.? Well, that simply isn’t true. Let’s start by defining multiple orgasms. There are three different types: (1) Compound  –  when there is no discernible break between your orgasms and it feels like one long one. (2) Serial – when they are a few seconds apart. (3) Sequential – when they are a few minutes apart.

When people think of multiple orgasms, they usually think of sequential ones, clear cut and separated by time.  But as it turns out, you may already be experiencing multiple orgasms. There are several ingredients that can help you achieve multiple orgasms:

Ingredient 1 – Your mind.  Your confidence in yourself and how you approach sex will determine how sex feels for you.  If you feel disgusted by yourself, how can you feel the pleasure you are experiencing.  Talk to someone about how you feel about yourself, your body and sex–someone you trust who can help you create a new and empowering view of yourself.

Ingredient 2 – Masturbation.  If you know what pleases you, then you will be able to repeat the process with a partner.  So think of self-pleasuring as your opportunity to get to know your body better and enjoy the results!

Ingredient 3 – Lube.  Wetness is not an indication of how excited you are by your partner.  Too many factors, such as hormone levels, dehydration, etc, decide how wet you are.  Buy some lube and use it, liberally.  If you don’t have discomfort during sex, the better your chances of experiencing the big “O.”

Ingredient 4 – Variety. Try different positions to find out what turns you on.  The missionary position where you are not chest to chest, but your partner’s chest is higher up towards your shoulders, creates more friction.  Girl on top allows you to stimulate your clitoris, while doggy style allows for direct contact to the g-spot.

Ingredient 5 – Let go.  Do not be on a mission.  If you are concentrating so hard on having an orgasm, then you are not feeling your body.  Sit or lay back and enjoy the moment.

Ingredient 6 – Go for your pleasure.  If your focus is on pleasing your partner, you might or might not succeed.  If your focus is on pleasing yourself, sex is more likely to be a win-win!

To learn more about experiencing orgasms, multiple or otherwise check Vera & Steve Bodansky’s pioneering work on this subject in, Extended Massive Orgasm: How You Can Give and Receive Intense Sexual Pleasure (Positively Sexual).

What ingredients do you have to share? We invite you to comment in the box below.