Contributed by Sandra T.


I have had many people talk to me about changes they have noticed in their libido.  They come up with all different reasons why their sex drive has decreased such as getting older, not liking their partner anymore, being busy at work. While these are all plausible, I usually ask them about the following areas to clarify what might be the source:

Body Image. Perhaps you have gained weight and feel you aren’t as attractive and sexy as you used to. These feelings can diminish your sex drive.  So, look back and remember a time when you felt sexy. When I did this I noticed that when I gained weight I began dressing more casually, which made me look and feel frumpy and unattractive. I decided my dress could you use some jazzing up and the funny thing is doing this changed my mood and I actually began feeling sexy again.

Medication and health.  Oral contraceptives, as well as other medications, can affect hormone production which in turn can impact your sex drive. Also,medical conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes and other conditions can change your blood flow. So, getting your health under control can help you get your libido back.

Relationship.  If you’re in a bad relationship, one in which you feel unhappy or don’t feel as if you are being treated with respect, it is difficult to become aroused. Talk to your partner about your feeling, consider couple’s counseling or end the relationship.

Emotional needs. Depression can leave you feeling tired, worthless, even ashamed, and might also affect your sex drive. If you are depressed, seek professional help so you can do whatever it takes to address your emotional needs.  Remember, depression is nothing to be ashamed of.

Have you experienced any of these or other life changes and noticed a shift in your libido?