Contributed by Tanya S.

The end of the year is filled with parties, visits to family and reuniting with friends.  But for singles this can also be a time of stress and sadness.  Relatives will ask about your dating life and New Year’s Eve is seen as a date night.  As it is with anything in life, it is not the situation but how you look at it.  It may be tempting to wallow in the blues, but take a hint from the Christmas Carol and enjoy a visit from three ghosts.

The Ghost of Christmas Past.  Examine your past relationships.  Why didn’t they work out? Not what is wrong with you or what is wrong with them, but what was wrong with the relationship? Did you stay in the relationship too long to try to make things work? Were they not a good match in the first place but you figured they would change? Were you too passive, aggressive or passive-aggressive? Did you communicate with your partner or sit silently fuming? Learn from these mistakes and look for signs so you don’t repeat them.

The Ghost of Christmas Present. What do you want in a partner?  Make a list of Must Haves and Must Not Haves.  Don’t waver from your list when you meet someone new.  If addiction is out of the question, do not date casual users.  But don’t stop there, make a list of the type of partner you want to be.  Relationships are not all take.  You need to define what you want to bring to a relationship.  Are you lacking or are undeveloped in any areas? If so, what actions can you take to improve them?

The Ghost of Christmas Future.  The New Year will bring with it lots of possibilities—whether you’re in a relationship or not.  Go out and enjoy yourself during the holiday season.  Take a look around the New Year’s party. You are not the only single person there. Mingle and talk to people and maybe you will meet someone fun.  When you realize that being single isn’t an emotional death sentence, you can enjoy your life more fully and powerfully take responsibility for your love life!

How is your love life? We invite you to share your comments in the box below.